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Straight to the heart

I’ve had a day. I didn’t sleep last night because of this project looming over my head. In general, I’ve bitten off more than I can chew in a few different areas. It’s starting to wear a bit. After not sleeping well last night, I was watching my neighbor this morning before he had to go to soccer camp. He had a total meltdown about his mohawk not staying up, and that put me a bit on edge.

Then, there’s some work stuff—mostly big decisions for me, career-wise—and I’ve having a hard time making those decisions. There’s also changes, which leaves things uncertain, adding to difficulty making decisions.

I was supposed to hang with boyfriend tonight. He told me what his sister was making us—vegetarian chili dogs and corn on the cobb. I hate corn, am not a fan of chili (a texture thing), and I am so sick of going over there and eating fake meat vegetarian meals. So I backed out of the dinner. Then I called him and told him everything that was going on, and that I don’t like eating a lot of fake meat. All of us are vegetarians (me, bf, his sister). Can we just eat some fucking vegetables? During the phone call, I cried. But I felt better.


Plus, I’m getting my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow. I’ve never been put under for any procedure, and never taken pain meds stronger than ibuprofen. I don’t know how I’ll react to the whole thing.

Looming over everything, still, is this research paper I really need to finish tonight. But I.just.can’t.seem.to.do.it. I’m soooo dragging my feet. I just need to finish it, and it’s not going to be that hard or that long. Don’t know what my problem is.

Boyfriend just asked how it was going and I said “Slowly. Urgh.” So he sent me this picture, which goes straight to the heart of the issue, to me, to a lot of things. And then I cried for the second time today. But in a totally good way.


ETA: It wasn’t that today was bad, hard, or stressful. It just wasn’t easy. Probably doesn’t help that I’m pms-ing. And part of it is that I usually have a really stress-free life, and today was a stressful day. I do understand others have far, far more valid things to be upset about. I’m not trying to compare any of this to serious hardships, illnesses, or financial troubles. I wanted to share, though, because the saying is really beautiful, and I hope it brightens someone else’s day the way it did mine.

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