May delete this later.
So about 14 months ago I dipped my toe back into dating after ending a very long relationship that was pretty emotionally toxic/abusive in the final 6 years. It was a slow decent. I spent, basically, my entire adult life with this person who was never a great partner.
I’ve had fun dating casually and have no desire for marriage or even strict monogamy. I posted a ton of random dating stuff early on, but slowed down because I slowed down on meeting people and I didn’t want to be repetitive.
Someone who started casual, turned out to be a real gem. We recently “celebrated” the 1 year anniversary of our first tinder date. While it’s not super serious, it’s become more than just casual sex friends like it started. We are crazy about each other and it’s becoming more emotionally intimate.
I am so happy, but I’ve started to feel nervous. How do I know, after so many years with a terrible and selfish partner, if someone is kind and good to me? I am obviously working through this in therapy, but open to hear thoughts on your definitions of a kind/generous partner. I feel that this person is a normal flawed human, just like me, but is kind and sweet and affectionate to me. I just have a tendency to overthink things sometimes.