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I have kiiiiind of said a big fuck you to dieting during the school semester. (tw diet/food talk)

My boss and I recently made this pact to go back on a pseudo-Atkins/paleo diet together...but I'm under so much stress as it is, plus I really have no time to cook at all, I haven't been sticking to it. I basically have to eat what's available when I've got the time. It hasn't been completely terrible, I'm not out there eating burgers and fries three times a day every day, but I do eat out a fair amount and I'm really not avoiding carbs in the way that I know contributes to weight loss. When my days are running around 14-15 hours long, hell yes I want a little bit of ice cream in the evening or some rice or potatoes with my meal, goddammit. I don't want to be sucking down sugar free protein shakes and salads and restricting myself in an intense way when I feel like every other aspect of my life is under pretty strict control.


I know this feeds into the whole "food=comfort" mindset that gets really unhealthy for me. I haven't put on any pounds, luckily, because my job is so active and physical. I lost about 15lbs between January and March, and I've got maybe 20 more to get to my goal weight. It's very reasonable, and I think I'll be able to make some good progress within a couple of months over the summer. I'm signing up for a gym in my new neighborhood a well as a CSA program. Mental and physical well being are going to be my two main focuses for the summertime.

I guess I just feel...weirdly guilty, somehow, and also just still uncomfortable in my current body. But, if there's one thing I've learned it's that a narrow focus is the way to get things accomplished, and I've got too much on my plate to go all-in on physical fitness goals right now.

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