Does anyone else seek out anxiety-inducing things to freak out about for no reason at all?
[I'm going to talk about my frustrations doing this, but consider this an open thread if you want to/need to talk about your own anxiety or stress! Or anything, of course.]
Like... I have been incredibly anxious lately. I have a big paper due date thing (my first PhD comp) coming up, and I have nothing, and I feel like a failure. So I've been stressing about the smallest things, and when I run out of things I make more things to stress about.
Example #1: I have this stupid antique dresser. It's gorgeous. It doesn't work. The drawers stick. It pisses me off. Our clothes are all over the floor. I've had this thing for two years.
Anxiety-inducing solution? Let's try to sell it on Kijiji! Never mind my apartment is trashed, my boyfriend works too much to help me move it if someone wanted it (which they did), I cannot afford to replace it right now, and I treated that ad and subsequent emails like a controversial MP comment. I checked that fucking thing every ten minutes, and the nicest emails had me freaking out. I just took the ad down.
(No, I just lied to you, I didn't, but I decided not to sell it. But it's still there.)
Nothing else to stress about? How about...
Example #2: Start researching weddings. I am not engaged. I will not be engaged for a very long time, if ever. Like, at least five years. But no, let's read blogs about "10 things I wish I'd done on my wedding day". Let's research the different costs of flower arrangements in my city, which I will probably not be getting married in, if I ever do get married. Let's read more things about drama between brides and bridesmaids. I went so far as to investigate wedding planners because having a wedding sounds so stressful, someone else should do it for me. And then I stressed about that price. I stressed about whether or not to wear high heels to my wedding. Cause that is something worth worrying about right now, right?
This isn't even in a positive way, like I'm feeling romantic - a wedding just seems to me to be the ultimate combination of a billion stressful factors and I start thinking about dealing with that one day.
I feel ill right now. I have a headache. I want to throw up. It's amping up. I have, like, sixteen wedding-related tabs open right now. What?!
Does anyone else do this? How do you stop?!