I have a friend with anxiety/depression. I also have anxiety and depression, but I've responded fairly well to a moderate dose treatment while she has struggled for years, through a variety of treatments and a bunch of ups and downs. She is currently in a down, so to speak, and because of that I haven't seen her for aaaages. I miss her!

And I'm starting to get frustrated because instead of just telling me she can't do X, she has been making plans and then canceling them the day of the activity. I know she can't help her anxiety, and I know she makes the plans intending to follow through on them, but I hate making plans and then having them canceled later. I wish she would just tell me upfront that she can't hang out!

Again, I know it's not her fault, but I am struggling to be a good and understanding friend for her now. My anxiety is focused on very different things from hers so I can't really understand what's going on inside her head right now. Plus I keep thinking to myself, "low key hanging out with friends would make her feel better, staying home is just making her feel worse," which I know is unfair because it's blaming her.

Feeling grumpy and guilty all at once right now.

Anyone else have stories about trying to be a good, supportive person and fucking up at it?