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Struggling with Sexuality Things

Posting this feels bizarre to me, because I've never given such matters much thought, and I've always been content to drift along without really defining my sexuality. Most people assume I'm straight, which I guess is ok, since I didn't really question that til recently.

So I think I'm asexual. Which I only started to realize when I finally figured out that I might be missing actual sexual attraction to other people. I always thought that when people said "I'd have sex with him/her", or "I'd like to jump his/her bones" or whatever, I always thought that kind of statement was figurative. But I guess it's literal for many people. I've just never looked at a person and wanted to have sex with them. I've never felt any desire to actually have sex myself.

So, I guess I'm asexual? Maybe? I think the idea fits, and I'm ok with that. But I'm kind of reluctant to publicly put a label on a part of myself that I've never actually thought much about. The idea of living my life as 'out', I guess (is that the right term?), is kinda strange to me. I don't define myself by sexuality. So I don't really like the idea of people using that label to sort me into a category I guess.


But in some ways I think it would be easier. People wouldn't be asking if I'd found a boyfriend yet, or offering to set me up. People would get why I'm a virgin and I wouldn't have to feel awkward about it. My parents wouldn't assume that I'm going to get married and have babies. Just to have all those assumptions gone might be very nice.

I feel pretty ambivalent about the whole thing. Am I'm struggling with what to do about it. Should I actually announce it to people? Or just continue to float around, not really being a sexual person but not advertising it either?

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