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I'm working on my co-dependence issues with my therapist, and she suggested I get some sort of workbook. A well-intentioned friend bought me a faith-based workbook, and although I was leery, I decided to give it a chance. This is not the book for me. I had to go retrieve it from where I literally threw it across the room last night in order to write this post. Just to note, I'm not trying to judge people who believe in or practice this (I have a sister in a submissive marriage), I'm just saying it isn't for me.

I was ok for the first 20 pages or so, and then it starts talking about gender roles and it all fell apart. It's mostly your typical "submit to your husband" stuff, but there was some really concerning stuff mixed in with that. One section says that it is never acceptable to leave a Christian marriage, except in cases in infidelity and "some extreme cases of abuse". What? WHAT? I cannot even. Only some extreme cases of abuse?


It also says that the picture of women's sexuality is one of giving herself to her husband, and that most females seek sexuality for love, not physical pleasure.

Women are physically weaker and more prone to emotional deceit, if you were wondering. Oh, wait, I used the word "women", when in fact this book mostly uses the words "female" or "wife". Also creepy: "father/husband", which is used a few times.

If you attempt to be the provider/protector of your home instead of your husband, you are warping your female role, FYI. You might be admired by today's culture for taking on a masculine role, but God will be mad at you because he wants you to submit. If you have no husband, you should submit to God and allow Jesus to be your husband. I'm not entirely certain how that would work.

Aaaand finally, the point that made me chuck the book across the room, this gem: "Mothers teach little girls how to love and care for men."


I am trying to teach my daughter many things, but how to love and take care of a man is NOWHERE on that list. I'm more concerned with teaching her to be kind and respectful to all people, and to love herself.


I suppose this book would be helpful for someone who follows this particular belief system. But as someone who grew up in an extremely patriarchal church, someone who endured abuse from my (then) husband for years because I didn't think it was serious enough to warrant leaving, I shudder at the thought of someone in need reading this and thinking these are the answers to their problems.

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