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Sunday am OT

How are things this last day of the holiday weekend?

My roommate returns today - I wish I knew when her flight was so I knew how much time I have left to myself!

Today I go see M Butterfly and then I am headed to the Bryant Park winter village. I made a pecan pie yesterday (the dessert add on from Plated) using flax seed instead of eggs - and it was the best pecan pie I have ever had. I hate the eggy custardy stuff in typical pecan pies - and with flaxseed, you just get a yummy nutty caramelly pecan pie. I had some for breakfast (it’s my bday after all!). When I went to the grocery store yesterday, there was a guy walking around with his cockatoo (#iheartnyc) - and he let me pet and hold it! :)


I have been horrifically unproductive this weekend. I had intended to capitalize on my roommate being gone and do a lot of writing because I am so behind - but I have done none. I have a huge block about writing right now - and I have figured out part of the issue:

Paper 1. Super high stress for this one - we are submitting to a really good journal in my field (as opposed to the fields of my co-authors) and the story I want to tell with the data is a big and important one. So, no pressure!

Paper 2. This paper is the first one from my NIH grant - so that is some pressure. The big issue with this one is that my mentor keeps moving their area of research closer to mine and is writing an NIH grant that basically overlaps with my work. I have tried explaining why this is problematic (on 3 separate occasions!) - but they don’t seem to get it (or don’t want to). We were planning a conference submission - and they wanted to propose to take the lead on a project that is basically the second aim of my NIH grant! This area of research is hugely underresearched and I felt I could really make an impact and establish myself in it. But now ... plus in terms of my future funding applications, I will have a hard time showing that I am an independent researcher given that our areas are super close. So, I keep feeling I need to shift my research focus, but this upsets me - and I have 3 years of funding for this current line of research, so I can’t really. But now I feel stressed out about this line of research and don’t want to do it anymore since it’s not mine anymore. Academia!

At any rate - today is going to be a great day - and I can work tomorrow. What’s going on with you all?

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