1. I think we might have finally gotten rid of the rats. I haven't heard any lately; Terminix is coming to check traps tomorrow. I'm not thrilled with the exclusion we paid assloads for, but it may have finally worked. I wouldn't really have a problem with rats, if they would leave my food alone and not shit all over my house because EDDIE VEDDER IS FULL OF LIES!!!!

2. A few months back I decided that I would finally up and write that personal account about what it feels like to be depressed and literary and me. I sent out a feeler e-mail to the chair of a creative non-fiction panel at a nearby conference this October, and she said it sounded interesting, but she'd need to see a draft.

So then I wrote 19 pages.

I sent her that, and she responded that it was interesting and oh by the way, can you get it down to 10 pages and send it back by Friday. I have this problem as a writer where I feel like everything I write (including this sentence) is shit, but for some reason, when I have to cut 9 pages out of a paper, suddenly every word I write seems perfect and essential.

I sent this out at the end of March, and hadn't heard anything since; I figured she'd decided to go with some submissions from people who aren't quite so openly crazy. But today I actually heard back from her, and I'm in! It's not a big deal conference, and I'll have to vagueblog about it because doxxing, but I'm happy that I can actually get a paper out that isn't full of blather about Old English.

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3. Yesterday when I did my Target grocery shopping, I realized as I was checking out that my basket contained a bag of apples, a box of applesauce pouches, and a six of hard apple cider (Angry Orchard Ginger; it's good, although not as good as the cinnamon or the Woodchuck fall seasonal). In case you were wondering, I liked them apples pretty well.

4. I think I've finally gotten the hang of Prezi — I've been using it to make notes for my Brit lit class. For those not familiar with it, it's a free online presentation software that's all zips and zooms and whatnot, like the kids like. The interface isn't particularly intuitive, but it's fun to play around with, and you can get a free educational license as a teacher or student.

5. For Father's Day, I've decided I want steaks and beer, and that I want to grill the steaks myself on the second-best Father's Day gift I ever got, my beloved charcoal grill (the best, which will never be beaten is my oldest kid, born 17 minutes to midnight on Father's Day 2010. Yeah, not topping that). I'll have to ask this to locals on bookface, but do any carnivores in the hivemind have advice on where to get modestly priced steaks that are tasty when grilled? I'd love to get them from Central Market (like Whole Foods, but Texan), but I don't think that's in the budget.

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6. Weird fucking dreams last night. I dreamed I was waiting tables at the restaurant I used to work at. I used to have these dreams all the time, and they suck. I've had them less since I was fired last summer (not-long story that I'd rather not tell), but they crop up every once in a while. This time, in addition to the standard "I keep getting sat and can't get to any of my tables for some reason," the highlights included

a) portioning butter, which was always my least favorite sidework, and the butter was all nasty

b) some girls making a topless dance video for one of the cooks' birthday or something, with their boobs spinning around

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c) two girls and a guy letting me know they'd be having sex and that my wife and I could join, and me saying maybe, but knowing I'd be too tired once I got home (even in my dreams I'm boring)

d) calling my MIL from someone else's phone, and her thinking it was her youngest son, because the phone belonged to someone with the same name and

e) taking a bath in some bro-dudes bathtub while wearing my bathrobe.

7. I watched Cosmos tonight. It's such a great show that I really wish Seth McFarlane weren't associated with it, because he's still an ass. I don't see how NdGT keeps his optimism going. Doesn't he get tired of saying things like "no, evolution and climate change aren't controversial" a bajillion times? I mean, he goes this whole episode talking about how we're basically fucked, but hey, it'll get better because we're survivors, and we'll figure out that we have to go to solar and wind.

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Yeah, the problem with being survivors is that we apply that to capitalism, and we want our way of doing business to survive at all costs. Sigh.