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Surreal Conversations You Have as a Parent

This happened this morning.

Husband: [My Stepkid], I need you to go upstairs to the twins’ room, where there are two half-full laundry basket. Please put the contents of one laundry basket into the other, and then bring the empty laundry basket down here. Please do not just dump the clothes all over the floor.


Stepkid: Huh?

Husband: *Verges on rage*

Me: Stepkid, don’t say, “Huh?”, that’s rude. Say, “I’m sorry, Daddy, what did you say?”

Stepkid: I heard him, but I’m confused! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?

Husband: *Verges on rage*

Me: ....what are you confused about?

Stepkid: I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?

Me: ...well, what did you hear?

Stepkid: Go empty a laundry basket into another one and bring the empty one downstairs.


Me: ...so, use your brain. What do you think you’re supposed to do?

Stepkid: Bring an empty laundry basket to daddy?

Me: ....yes.

Stepkid: *defeated tone of voice* ...Okay. *goes*

Ah, the joys of being ten, when you pretend to just not understand English in an attempt to get out of doing a basic chore.

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