Sometimes living in New Orleans is like camping in an abandoned building in the wilderness. I am currently swatting madly all over me to keep the termites away. They keep banging into my face and arms. FUCK THEM. They are in my wine. They are getting stuck to my painting. FUCKING TERMITES GO THE FUCK AWAY.
They don't want my food. They don't even want my wood. They just want to be with me.
New Orleans fun fact: termites swarm the city for a week or two every spring, sometime in the early evening. No matter that all your windows and doors are closed; suddenly they are flying around your house banging into your computer screen and face and shoulders.