So it is on this scorching Texas summer afternoon (99° with a heat index of 108°) that I find myself at my friendly neighborhood Starbucks after getting a haircut.

I'm itchy from the random bits of shorn hair that got stuck to my shirt (I lopped off about 8 inches) and wanted to go to the bathroom to shake them off before ordering.

I walked in, immediately with an eye for the corner with the two sole comfy armchairs. One is occupied, and one shows signs of occupation, its sitter having temporarily gotten up.

Damn! I'll have to settle for a regular wooden chair. Or the bench along a different wall.

I make my way to the restroom in back, eager to shake my newly managed mane, but, alas! I have found where the owner of the partially abandoned comfy chair has gone. She has gone from occupying the chair to occupying the porcelain throne.

Undefeated, but slightly annoyed (mostly because of aforementioned itchiness), I retreat to my seat to wait.

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It's been half an hour, kinja! 30 minutes since I walked in the door to find the restroom already in use, and it is STILL in use! Three women and two young children have also tried to use the facilities, to no avail. Nope, make that four women, now.

I just want to make the itching stop! I just want to get comfy before I order a drink!

Wait a minute...

The woman sitting next to me just got up to use the restroom... Apparently it's free again. What? Where did the first woman go? Did she slip out the back? WTF, Kinja? What the fuck?