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Talk Me Down Before I Do Something Stupid

So I was just walking the dogs in the little circle-park near my house. Bacon walked in between one of the benches and the wrought-iron divider (it's about a two-foot space) and the guy sitting on the bench took his big magazine and HIT him with it! Bacon wasn't touching him, or his stuff, or bothering him in any way. He was a well dressed, young-ish (35?), attractive guy, not obviously crazy in any way. I said, "Hey, why the hell did you just hit my dog?" He answered, with a slight accent, "I don't like him there." I said, "You don't have to hit him, you fucking asshole. You don't hit other people's dogs!" He gives me the finger. I started yelling, "No, FUCK YOU, you PRICK. How DARE you hit my dog! What the FUCK is wrong with you?" He said, "Should I call the police?" I ignored that. I started walking away, but I was so mad, I walked back. "You know what kind of man hits animals? The kind that hits women and kids. I bet you do that, too. You fucking prick." I walked away again. I stopped and tried to pet Bacon, and the poor dog shied away, which just made me lose my shit all over again. I walked them the rest of the way around the circle and headed back towards the fucker. From a distance, I shouted at him, "I bet you hit harmless animals because you have a really small dick. You probably are hung like a mouse. I bet you couldn't get it up if your life depended on it, you fucker." Then I walked home. I really want to go back with something to pour over his perfectly coiffed head and nice clothes. Something that will stain. But I shouldn't.


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