It's been over three years since my emotionally and physically abusive ex and I split. I've gone to therapy, made peace, and now have an awesome relationship. But every so often, something happens and I freak out in some kind of horrible relationship "ptsd" attack, and I have to try and work my way through it.

So today's issue? Husband and I set up a joint checking account, which we rarely use (mostly for rent and joint bills and transferring money between us). He lost his regular debit card, so he's been using the joint account the last week or so. I am an idiot, and used the wrong card for dinner, so I went online to make sure there was money in it and transfer if need be.

I trust MitsuBT more than I have ever trusted anyone else. The money in that account right now is technically his because he transferred it over from his checking account. I have no right to be paranoid or concerned or anything.


But stupid MitsubiShe had to go through the charges and there were a few AM withdrawals, and now I'm panicking because what does he need all that cash for??

It makes no sense. My shitty ex used to drain the account right after I got paid and before rent cleared so he could go buy drugs (I'm pretty sure) and prostitutes (I'm absolutely sure) or he'd blow through a few grand at the strip club. MitsuBT is not like that. And I have no reason to worry.

Yet still...almost had a panic attack for no reason. I'm going to go hide the joint debit card so I don't accidentally use it again. And have some beer.