Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

In the middle of the night last night I was thinking about all the "teams" on GT, and EisanBolan's cookie post just reminded me of my musings. I am, for all intents and purposes, Teams Pancake, Dog, and Pie. Now I'm a pretty laid-back person. I'm able to recognize that sometimes waffles are tasty, cats aren't murderous, and icing is pretty good, and can peacefully coexist with players of other teams provided they aren't pushy with me . Not so with toasters vs. toaster ovens. I straight-up judge people who have toasters. Toasters* have zero redeeming qualities. I will not back down on this.

Why the hell would you want a toaster when you could have a toaster oven? Have you just decided that your life is destined for mediocrity so you may as well just throw in the towel? Do you hate melted cheese on your sandwiches? If so, why do you exist?

Illustration for article titled Team Toaster Oven!

*The Brave Little Toaster does not count. Cute character, but I totally understand why he was sent to the dump—- he's a toaster.

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