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The Boy and I decided that we’re moving in together next year. Even though it’s a year away, it has still managed to become a niggling thing at the back of our minds. We go for walks and notice apartment buildings and make a note of them. We ask friends what they’re paying in rent and about their neighborhoods. We evaluate each other’s furniture. He inexplicably (to me) announced our decision to his friends.

Woven among all these other issues is my dog. She’s a pitbull mix, and will be our greatest obstacle to finding suitable housing, since most places won’t rent to anyone who has a pit or pit mix. But that’s not what this is about. She’s also highly anxious, and we can’t help but comment how poorly she tolerates change and consider asking the vet if we can medicate her for the big move, and wonder how long it will take her to settle in her new home, wherever it is. I guess that’s also not what this is about.

My boyfriend is her favorite person. Period. I adopted her 3 years ago and have cared for her daily, taking her to the vet, feeding her each morning, going for long hikes and providing doggy enrichment. But as soon as he steps through the door, I could disappear for all she cares. Tonight she and I snuggled up on the couch, as we often do. She lies full-length against me — she likes to be the “little spoon” — and gets her head and belly rubbed while I watch tv. And I realized that after the move, she’ll probably never do this again. Because he will always be there, and she’d rather sit on his lap (crushing his testicles if possible) and make sure I can’t get any time with either of them. And I realized I’m probably not the only one who played second fiddle for their own pet. Have any of you had to share your pet with someone else after having them solo for so long? How did it go? Did the novelty wear off, or did their loyalties shift permanently?

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