I’m not talking about the serious stuff - I mean the stupid, inane, downright silly fights where afterwards you both go “okay, what the fuck was our problem?” Spouse, parent, sibling, pet - doesn’t matter. We’ve all had these stupid arguments that seem very important while we’re in them, and becomes ridiculous and entertaining stories later.
Mine occurred with my boyfriend a few months ago over bandanas. We were getting ready to go to the gym, and he tied a bandana around his head to push his unruly hair back. He asked me if I thought it looked okay and I said it looked fine.
Apparently something about my tone of voice told my boyfriend that I was harboring deeply held opinions about his bandana that I was keeping to myself, so he pressed me further. I insisted that I did not have an opinion about his bandana, and that I fundamentally did NOT care what he wore on his head while at the gym. He insisted that I must have an opinion, that everyone has an opinion on everything, and that this was important to him (whyyyyyyyyyyy?).
So finally, after five minutes of going on like this I realize that he is not going to leave me alone unless I say something that indicates that I care about this issue. So I reply, “well, if you absolutely need me to have an opinion about this, I’m not really crazy about bandanas.”
Oh god, the hurt in his eyes showed up almost instantly, and he gave this speech about how he really liked wearing bandanas, and that he hoped that I would get used to him wearing them.
I completely lost my cool at this point, and started yelling that I didn’t care about his stupid bandana, that I NEVER cared about his stupid bandana, and that he was so fucking annoying about the whole thing that I finally said something just to appease him. He told me that his insistence was due to the fact that he could “tell” that I had an opinion about it that I was keeping to myself and that he just wanted me to be honest. I replied that he was right, that I have secretly hated his bandanas this whole time we were together, that I was jealous of the relationship he had with them, and that I had been plotting how to get away with their murder for months to collect the life insurance and oh, how had he known when I was so good about hiding it?
He did not appreciate my sarcasm.
We fought about this all the way on the drive to the gym, getting so heated that I threatened to walk back home after we got out of the car. We didn’t speak to each other during our workouts, and I took all of my anger out on my weights. After a good half hour of sweating it out, I decided that this was a stupid, ridiculous fight and I wanted to let it go. After we were done and outside I gave him a hug, told him I loved him, and that I didn’t want to fight about bandanas anymore.
“I love you too baby,” he replied, and after a pause added, “but I want to fight about bandanas.”
Your turn, GT!