Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

Terrible gifts (The one I almost recieved)

Illustration for article titled Terrible gifts (The one I almost recieved)

(TW - gynaecology, mental health)
Yes, I am gonna be that person that complains about getting a gift. I'm one of those people that agonize about getting someone something that :
A) They will like
B) Something they will use
C)That uniquely personal thing that says "hey I listen to the words coming out of your mouth and remember them" and "yes, I am trying to make you tear up a little here."


And the last resort of money. C) is exceptionally hard to do. I've only nailed C a handful of times.

Here's the story a failed C) that I almost got.

To make a very long story short I had numerous bad experiences with gynaecologists, to the point where I have some kind of PTSD and basically start shaking in fear and sobbing if someone even suggests going to the doctor or the hospital. It feels an awful lot like drowning. Part of my symptoms is that I obsess over medical things. I go over it and over it, and think of all the things I could have done to change it, make it so it never happened or so it will never happen again. I weirdly gravitate towards hospital green and I am even getting a hospital Lego set. I've tried to get involved with groups that do patient advocacy or change hospital policies. I have strong aversion to all man made phallic shaped objects. It is an intense bodily reaction. It's like part of my brain is trying to correct all the things that happened, but can't seem to do it, so I just end up in a weird loop. The other part is in survival mode trying to protect me from anything gynaecological because gynaecology = torture, betrayal, and humiliation.

On to the almost present.


So last year my now ex tells me.

"I have a great gift idea for you. I found a speculum in a vintage store and I thought that would be a great present for you."

I don't say anything. He smiles waiting for me to accept. And I just can't say anything. I kinda smile, and say no thank you, trying not to hurt his feelings or make him angry.


I was gonna explain why, but I think the sentences in italics suggest why this was a terrible idea.

So what's the worst gift you received or managed to dodge?

ETA: There are some fantastic stories in here. I'm trying hard not to smile too much at work.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter