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Tessa and Scott Episode 1 ( A Martha Review)

So we open up on a super cut of what we can expect from the season. It’s not really dramatic because this is Canada and this is not Degrassi. It does not go there.

Bless the producers tho, with these initial couple-y shots at a carnival/ amusement park that reminds me of this Jojo video. In between are confessionals and they’re both saying the same thing. Our relationship is indescribable, and transcends definition and I’m like



Also. Too Much

The Russian coach is my favorite. Russians in the context of art are amazing. Politics not so much. OH SNAP. THE RUSSIAN COACH ALSO COACH ALSO COACHES THEIR RIVALS.

Tessa and Scott need to read a little story about some children named Destiny and what happened when, Dad was forced to make a choice between Kelly and Beyonce.


Ok so then this dude from So You Think You Can Dance shows up why? Cause we needed a proper story line. He’s allegedly here to sex up the routine. It is awkward.

Is this a sex face or a awkward face? Let me know.


Then they go to dinner. They keep talking with a sort of finality to everything so I am assuming they thought they were going to retire after, when this was filmed and then they didn’t. I will say there is lots subtext happening here. I am glued. She says, “ I wonder if we’ll still be able to devote the same amount of time to each other, when this is over” And hen she bites her lip and her eyes get sad. Which is like...... yeah, but also like no.

Uh you spend all your time together now. I think I’m worried about Tessa ya’ll.


I dunno, this girlfriend looks fake as fuck y’all. She doesn’t even get a confessional how important could she be? Also she looks like Tessa if Tessa wasn’t an olympic athlete.


Oh wait, they’ve been going out for nine months and he hasn’t introduced her to tessa. Like they’ve never met. HA girl bye. You ain’t real.


Anyway shout out to who seems to bury all of her emotions about pretty much everything on top of being a shy person. Raising a glass to you girl. I also can’t tell if Scott is a douche or calls all the shots or both. Episodes will tell.

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