Previously on Tessa and Scott

Grand Prix! They Won! Something. I dunno, it was good but not what they wanted.

So they are back from the Prix thing. They talk about how they could have been better, and Tessa says they are not where they need to be emotionally with each other. She says that when they get in their and I quote, “bubble” with each other.

A running through line all of last episode that I didn’t super talk about cause I was caught up in other aspects of the show, is that Tessa and Scott keep talking about how their connection with each other is not what is usually is/used to be and they’re trying to find their way back to each other.

Which is fine and makes sense but the way they talk about it, is kind of intense.

Scott gets his fake girlfriend on skype. Most likely for skype sex. Something that’s been sung about beautifully by Zapp and N’sync.

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He says the following, I have to try and have a personal life and I try to spend time with cassandra, but I really like spending time with tessa too.

Then Tessa says this. “Scott tries to separate his personal and skating life, sort of” Shade.

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They are going to Paris France, not Texas, to some competition and fake girlfriend is going y’all! It’s about to be amazing.

OMG TESSA’S FACE WHEN SHE SAYS SHE’S NEVER MET FAKE GIRLFRIEND

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And then to follow it she says this, “ I guess he’s trying to protect her, cause what he and I share is something so special and difficult to explain that it’s hard for someone on the outside looking in to understand.”

BITCH WHAT!??!!? THIS IS SO SHADY I COULD DIE.

Tessa Virtue who are you? And why are you like this?

And of course to ruin by shade/drama buzz a story told in screenshots

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Dear God,

Please grant me the confidence of this old wrinkly white man, who thinks that in his current state a reigning gold medal winning olympian, in her physical prime who could have any man she wanted would want to have sex with him.

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Amen

Next

Canadian Network Executive: So we’re getting the returns on this Tessa and Scott show. So far so good, but low returns in the American audience.

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Producers: Yeah. Yeah. We know, but we’ve got something that we think is really going to boost those US numbers.

Scott drinks beer and shoots things on a farm with lots of boys, he says he’s country and this is what country boys do, which yeah. That’s real, as someone who grew up around a lot of country people. Boys get together and trap or hunt things and shoot things and drink lots of beer. They do it for enjoyment and in a attempt to reaffirm their masculinity.

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Then Scott says tells his friends that he doesn’t bring Tessa around them and he doesn’t plan on doing it anytime soon. All while fake girlfriend is just sitting there. God bless her. This is the messiest episode.

Meanwhile Tessa is with her dad and her brother playing golf. She is bad at it.

Then in another attempt to boost those US numbers we have Tessa and her equally attractive friends in a hot tub. Talking about boys and drinking champagne. So they had sort of teased this footage before with tessa in this same bathing suit but scott was there as well. But the boys never show up so that footage must have ultimately been cut and I’m kind of curious as to why/ what was said. Oh well.

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PARIS BABY!!!!

They are getting ready to compete at the Paris Grand Prix. After practice/dress rehearsal they go on a little sight seeing adventure. They go to all the landmarks and take cute selfies. You want to guess who’s missing from this little adventure? FAKE GIRLFRIEND. Where is she? Tessa even says, when their on the river seine, this is so romantic.

Lemme tell you something. The intense and searing anger I would feel. And it’s terrible cause there’s layers to it. His schedule is so packed and he only gets so much time to do stuff so that’s one. They’ve been dating this whole time ( 9 mo) and she’s never met tessa, here is the perfect opportunity and you’re just like nah. Y’all this is nuts.

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The So You Think You Can Dance, guy is back to give our olympians a pep talk.

Then they are off to skate.

I will say this, when they talk about how their relationship can’t be defined, I actually believe them. I think that they can’t tell people whether they’re friends or lovers or business partners or skating partners because they’ve been all of those things to each other at a certain point. And not only that but they continue to revolve between those definitions still. Like sometimes they are lovers and it’s really passionate and hot and they’re hooking up then it cools off and they’re just really good friends. And then it gets hot again but maybe they just let it bubble under the surface cause they’re training and they use it to fuel their skating. Then they’re public figures, so they’re business partners. So when people ask them what they are to each other. All they can say is it’s complicated and intense because it’s complicated and intense.

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Next Time

Paris skate

More Fake Girlfriend

Tessa and Scott go to couples counseling