I just read this article that someone linked on facebook, and I LOVED it.
My boyfriend and I are currently planning our wedding for next spring. He's ordered my ring, but I don't know exactly when he'll propose.
I insisted on us doing all of our premarital counseling before we got engaged, so we did an online course together over the summer, read some books, took an extensive quiz, and all we have left is for me to fill out my long family profile and then we can discuss it. Also we're probably going to see a local person for a few visits.
I've seen all the craziness in wedding planning, and I just didn't want to deal with all that. I didn't want to stress out about the perfect day, but I do want to celebrate with all my loved ones and have a big party!
So we're getting married in the same chapel in San Antonio where my parents eloped in 1982. Only our parents, siblings, and siblings-in-law will be in attendance. And then we're throwing three receptions: one in my hometown for my southern friends and all my family, one in the town where Beau lives now and where we'll live together for all of his family (two Catholic parents, so, BIG family), and one in the city where I currently live for his HS/college friends and my local friends.
On the one hand, that means I have to plan more events. On the other hand, I don't care if my receptions are perfect because they won't be my actual wedding day. Bonus: I get to wear my dress FOUR times!!!!!
My short dress, with hot pink accessories, that in total should run me less than $300, which would be cheaper than the extensive alterations + cleaning + shipping from the South to the Midwest to Texas I would need done to my debutante gown because I'm so much thinner than I was at 19. I love my debutante gown (see below), but my body is so different now that I even if I did want to pay for it to be altered, I don't know if it would be as flattering as it was on my curvy very-big-boobed me.
So this was a long me-centric way of saying that I'm doing everything I can to get married in a way that really celebrates Beau and me without giving in too much to the wedding industry or the patriarchy or OUR PARENTS. Once I'm officially engaged, I might pitch a few articles under my real name to some women-friendly sites on getting Feminist Married.
And yes, I recognize the irony of a former debutante wanting to get Feminist Married. I didn't know what Teh Patriarchy was at 19, okay?
Thank you, GT, for giving me a place to talk about this because I'm keeping it a total secret from my anon blog/twitter because I don't want to turn into a wedding blogger. And I can't talk about it on facebook til I'm officially engaged. GT is like my secret online hideaway where I can squee about boys in one breath and shout about sexism in the next.