This is an update from my post yesterday in which my coworker made a rape joke and I didn't know what to do.
I tried to first give the coworker the benefit of the doubt. I emailed him, let him know I was upset by his joke, and why. He sent back a lovely non-apology about "I guess there are hot-button words I should avoid." I said thanks, and then it got WORSE. He sent back an "in my defense" email, trying to explain his joke, in which the protagonist's ex-husband's side piece lied about being raped. I asked him what he thinks the incidence of lying about rape is, he said he didn't know, so I explained, as briefly as I could, what rape culture is and how in an office of 12 women, statistically 2 of us have been/will be raped by someone we know. No response to that one, which upset me further because he wouldn't even acknowledge his dumb-ass comments.
So, this morning I went to the boss with my complaint. He was surprisingly understanding, even asking what I would like to have happen. He did make a bro-dude comment about when or where a joke like that is acceptable, but I restrained myself. Anyway, the situation is being dealt with and my jugular is no longer throbby.
Thank you all so much for the support, you're really an incredible group of people!