Email from a higher-up:

"I just wanted to congratulate [person redacted] for [activity redacted]. As you all know [person redacted] is one of the busiest faculty on campus, doing [all the things]. This is especially important to the [school name redacted] to maintain our [ridiculously high percentage] of full-time positions and only .078 percent adjunct course loads! [Self-congratulatory stuff redacted.]"

Hey, dude. Thanks. No hard feelings or anything.

Signed,

The Last Remaining Adjunct (Who Doubles as a Server in Summers)