This weekend was my 10 year high school reunion and I booked a flight to come down here this weekend because I 1) wanted to see my Grammy before Thanksgiving because she has stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and might not make it til then and 2) I figured, why not show off the fact that I look awesome, almost have my PhD, and am not in a miserable marriage/relationship to my peers?
I decided a couple of weeks ago not to go to the reunion because it was poorly planned and not everyone found out about it in enough time to take time off of work to fly down there. Long story short, my friend who experienced a lot of hurtful peer exclusion in high school was one of our 50 out of 120 classmates who were not invited to the Facebook group that was used to plan the event. As an act of solidarity with her, who is one of the one people from high school I still want to hang out with, I wrote on the event's wall, giving them a tongue-lashing about how thoughtless it was to forget to invite so many of us to the Facebook group, thus making it more difficult for people to plan to attend.
Anyway, I was on Facebook yesterday and one of my classmates posted this as her status:
Wow. 10 years since graduating from high school. If you would have told me then that at age 28 I would be married to my best friend, have bought a house, had an awesome job, had an amazing education, my health, the best friends a girl could ask for, and an adorable pup, I wouldn't have believed you! Pretty happy with where I am 10 years out. If the next 10 stay just the same, I'll take it!
^RIGHT? My eyes rolled back into my head so hard that I couldn't see...especially since (in no particular order) 1) I'm facing the very real possibility of extended unemployment after I finish my PhD because of the shitty job market, 2) I will probably never be able to afford to buy property (desirable property, anyway), 3) my grandmother, who played the role of a non-custodial parent to me and my brothers after my dad died, is 71 and DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. DIE. and is the best human on this planet, is dying, 4) I've had it up to the ceiling with dating and refuse to tolerate a less than satisfactory relationship for any length of time EVER AGAIN and can't seem to find anyone to date who isn't still bitter from his long-term, cohabitating relationship that ended at least a year ago.
In other words, when I read my classmate's FB status, I thought, "This is it...this is what the social science research studies are talking about...this is the less satisfied feeling people are getting by being on FB and comparing themselves to their peers..." At that moment, I came close to never wanting to check my FB ever again...
But, I mean, C'MON, anyone who goes to this length to make her life sound so perfect, you KNOW she's not getting laid or something, right? memememememe I'm married to my best friend memememememe...::EXTREME EYEROLL::
But then I realized, ok, as shitty as things are for me in comparison to how things were before two months ago when I found out the same week that I didn't get the job I wanted and that my grandmother was dying, life was pretty fucking sweet. So I replied to her comment...
Ok, my turn...I'm going to have my PhD at age 28, I live in my favorite city in the world with the best human friends and best animal friend I could ask for, I'm not in an unsatisfactory relationship and never will be again, I'm going to spend as much time with my Grammy as I can and cherish every moment of it, and by harnessing the power of the internet and my connections I've forged with others, I WILL find a job in this economy.
-sent from my iPad
THERE, I thought! I turned a negative into a positive! I took the time to reflect on the positive things going on in my life all because my classmate felt the need to show off her success!
Siiigh...this happened yesterday and, re-reading what I wrote, talk about desperate attempts to make your life sound better...but you don't write a Facebook status like my classmate did, knowing that all her classmates were going to see it, and not expect SOOOOOME sort of reaction, right? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but she's basically showing off to her peers how fucking PERFECT everything is for her...why else would you write something like that?...sooooo...yeah...I probably should've just ignored it, but the 30-something people who "liked" her status weren't ignoring it, so...yeah...fuck...
Anyway, I'm SO FUCKING GLAD 1) I didn't go to the reunion in this fragile state and spent lots of time with my Grammy instead and 2) learned the hard way what the researchers were trying to tell us with that study - FUCK. FACEBOOK. All it is is a glorified high school yearbook...it everyone's attempt to show the world only the good and none of the bad...sure, lots of us write kvetch-y statuses, but, with some exceptions, we all go on there to show off, whether it's pictures of our pets, kids, fun nights out (including yummy drinks and food porn), weddings, new apartments/houses, travels, brag about finishing our degrees or getting a dream job, etc...
So what about yous guys? Anyone had a high school reunion recently or a cringe-worthy encounter with a classmate's bragging or humble-bragging?
Also, if anyone wants to cheer me up, SEND ME ALL THE GIFS! It was amazing to see my Grammy this weekend and, even though she's dying, she's still her sunny, smiling self. Seeing her this happy despite her suffering makes me feel better around her than not around her...but now that I'm not at her side, I'm pretty sad...she's my strength...and so are yous guys :-)