So I mentioned this in a post a few days ago, but I figured I'd tell the real* story** to all of you at once.

Before I was born (when dinosaurs roamed the earth), Robert Redford was in my parents' hometown working on a movie. My mom's family was really involved in the community for a variety of reasons, and my grandmother became minorly involved in the production. She was even in the film itself, which is cool because if I want to I can go look at my grandma on Netflix! I'm sort of convinced my uncle's shoulder is in there too but I could be making that up.

Anywhoodle, there was a bit of a shindig at the end of filming as sort of a thank you/that's a wrap, and my grandmother was invited. She took my mom with her. This is, of course, the late seventies/early eighties, and my mother has thick, nearly black hair down to her hips, all of it pulled back in a braid. She and my grandmother are standing there talking to Robert Redford (aka "Bob") when someone walks between them. My mother, realizing that the logical extension of the Pauli exclusion principle indicates that she and this person could not occupy the same space at the same time, took a step back to allow them more room to pass.

Oh, did I forget to mention there was a lit candle on the table behind my mother?

Yes, there was. And her lovely thick dark hair caught fire.

You know what smells almost as bad as burning hair does? Heated wine. Which is what happened when my grandmother put my mother's hair out in her wine glass.


This is when Robert Redford, smiling with that little twinkle (or so I imagine shut up this is my story) in his eye says "Well, [Momberg's real name], I heard you were hot stuff, but this is a little excessive," and then he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

My freshman year roommate was convinced that he'd somehow managed to impregnate my mother with that kiss and that I was his progeny. My student loan debt disagrees with that assessment, but wishes it was true.


*Disclaimer: this story has entered stuff of legend category in my family and more than that I could be remembering parts of it wrong but it's a great story so pfffft.

**Some details omitted so I don't doxx myself like a dummy.