Having a party? Good for you. 10pm? I'm glad you're having fun. 11pm? it would be nice if you'd tone it down a bit. 12am? other people have to work in the morning, I'm sure they're not pleased. 1am? Okay, seriously do you have to sit on the porch and shout-talk? I don't give a shit about your incipid conversation and even though I don't have to work in the morning, I'd like to sleep sometime. 2am? Okay, now I'm that guy that has to poke her head out the window and ask you to tone it down. Not only that, but the words that come out of my mouth are exactly the ones that my father would have used. Are you happy now drunk people next door? You kept me awake, you made me be that guy and then you made me my dad. Thank you for finally, resentfully, shutting the fuck up but now I'm not going to be able to sleep anyway.

PS I'm not sure if this is clear in the post, bit the person who I would most like to not turn into—especially when confronting strangers—is my dad.