My psychic adventure was more of an attempted shakedown. The aftermath was a psychological trip into the recesses of the mind. And not the fun kind.

I wrote about sleep paralysis and anxiety of such before. ALWAYS WITH FUCKING DEMONS GETTIN’ ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS. Dafuq fake-ass demons, get outta here! Y’all mothafuckas need Yeezus. Even though you aren’t real.

So...

TL;DR: I was a damn hussy in my past life; I was the other woman and sleeping with the husband of my BFF who is, surprise, in Hell for suicide (Which...does not compute with me.). NOW THE DAMN NOT REAL LADY WHO I HURT WITH MY WANTON WAYS, AND THAT IS PROBABLY THE INCORRECT SPELLING, IS HAUNTING ME...oh, and “has the ability to possess me.”

Lovely. Let’s take fear of being possessed and run with it.

So...

I was sleeping. I then cannot breathe. I then cannot move. I then hear a low-pitched demon voice (I guess?) saying “You ruined my life, now I have come for you. You are doomed.”

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Felt like three hours, was probably more like three minutes.

According to my docs and a lot of other sources, sleep paralysis is (usually) brought on by stress to the extreme degree. Which I had. Which is kinda why I got desperate enough to see the psychic in the first place. So this particular idea she planted lead to me being jumpy and anxious and depressed and drained all day Sunday. Called my doctor who talked me down.

I rationalized it, but nothing like hearing you’re gonna be dragged to hell for something that DID NOT HAPPEN I GUESS (I am a spiritual person, I’m just a bit turned off from past lives at this point...) when you’re trying to sleep. Please do not take offense if you do believe, I am not here to hate. Just here to share my experience with sleep paralysis.

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I ate ice cream for breakfast that day.

TL;DR Part Dux: Former hussy almost gets hustled to Hell by some basic. Basic was basically a burnt-out brain. Then ice cream.