She is beautiful.

This is how she was created (SFW pictures included. And no, there are no NSFW pictures are included).

DIS IS RECIPE.

BAH! I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO POST WOT I DID.

3 CUPS OF FLOURS. THIS IS 1 LB OF THE 10 LBS I LABORIOUSLY TRAVELED TO FOOD KITTY FOR. YOU'RE WELCOME.

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1 TEASPOON YEASTS

1 CUP WARM WATERS

1/2 TEASPOON SUGARS

1/2 TABLESPOON SALTS

1 1/2 CUPS CHIZ. I USED SHARP CHEDDARZ, SHREDDED, ROOM TEMP

5 SLICES BACONS

1. FRY THE BACON, RESERVING THE FAT FOR SOMETHING ELSE. CRUMBLE UP YOUR BACONS. DIVIDE YOUR CRUMBLES IN HALF. TRY NOT TO EAT THEM ALL.

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2. MIX TOGETHER THE FLOURS AND YEASTS AND SUGARS AND SALTS AND 1 CUP OF YOUR ROOM TEMP CHIZ AND HALF YOUR BACONS. MIX THEM REALLY QUITE VERY WELL. STOP EATING THE BACON.

3. ADD THE VERY WARM WATERS, THEY CAN BE ABOUT 120 DEGREES SINCE YOU ARE ADDING IT TO THE FLOURS AND NOT BLOOMING IT YOUR SELF. I JUST FIND THIS EASIER, FOR SOME REASON.

4. MIX UNTIL YOU GET A COHESIVE BALL. THIS WILL NOT BE PRETTY. RESIGN YOURSELF TO THAT. GET A VERY LARGE MIXING BOWL, EVEN BIGGER THAN THE ONE YOU WERE JUST MIXING DOUGH IN, AND SPRAY WITH VEGGIBLE OIL, OR MAYBE SMEAR WITH THE RESERVED BACON FAT. (THAT WAS A GREAT IDEA. I WILL DO THAT NEXT TIME INSTEAD OF FRYING MY EGGPLANT IN IT.) MAKE SURE TO COAT THE DOUGH BALL EVENLY, THEN COVER THE BOWL WITH FOIL OR A WET CLOTH OR SARAN WRAP IF YOU ARE FEELING ESPECIALLY SADISTIC TO THE YEASTIES.

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5. LET STAND FOR AN HOUR IN A WARM SPOT, OR UNTIL IT IS DOUBLED. THIS MIGHT TAKE EVEN TWO AND A HALF HOURS IF WHAT YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH IS A DESIRE TO NOT USE THE OVEN TO PROOF THE BREAD AND A 65 DEGREE HOUSE. DEAL WITH IT.

6. WHEN IT IS FULLY RISED, LIGHTLY KNEAD YOUR DOUGH INTO A ROUGH BAGUETTE SHAPE. SPRAY YOUR LOAF PAN/COAT THE INSIDE OF YOUR LOAF PAN WITH A THIN FILM OF BACON FATS, PLACE THE BAGUETTE IN THE PAN, AND THEN SPRINKLE WIV THE RESERVED 1/2 CUP CHIZ AN THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR BACON THAT YOU TOTALLY DIDN'T EAT AND THEREFORE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE MORE OF.

7. COVER THE LOAF IN A WET CLOTH/PAPER TOWEL AND LET RISE IN A WARM OVEN (BECAUSE SOMETIMES I DON'T FEEL LIKE WAITING ON THE YEASTIES TO ACCOMMODATE FREAKING KITCHENY SIBERIA) FOR HALF AN HOURS.

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8. BAKE FER HALF AN HOURS AT 350 F. WHEN IS FINISHED BAKING, LET REST IN PAN FOR 5 MINUTES, THEN SLIDE OUT OF PAN AND LET COOL COMPLETELY ON A COOLING RACK.

9. STUFF INTO YOUR FACE BY THE FISTFUL. ACCOMPANY YOUR MEAL WITH A MODEST SALAD AND ALL THE BEER.