This open letter from Professor Greg Hampikian of Boise State University to the Idaho Legislature about pending legislation to allow guns on campus is the best thing you'll read today. Watch the snark flow! Watch the humor fly over the heads of some people! The whole thing is great, but here are some particularly nice passages:

I assume that if a student shoots first, I am allowed to empty my clip; but given the velocity of firearms, and my aging reflexes, I'd like to be proactive. For example, if I am working out a long equation on the board and several students try to correct me using their laser sights, am I allowed to fire a warning shot?

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While our city police chief has expressed grave concerns about allowing guns on campus, I would point out that he already has one. I'm glad that you were not intimidated by him, and did not allow him to speak at the public hearing on the bill (though I really enjoyed the 40 minutes you gave to the National Rifle Association spokesman).

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In terms of the campus murder rate โ€” zero at present โ€” I think that we can all agree that guns don't kill people, people with guns do. Which is why encouraging guns on campus makes so much sense. Bad guys go where there are no guns, so by adding guns to campus more bad guys will spend their year abroad in London. Britain has incredibly restrictive laws โ€” their cops don't even have guns! โ€” and gun deaths there are a tiny fraction of what they are in America. It's a perfect place for bad guys.

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I want to applaud the Legislature's courage. On a final note: I hope its members will consider my amendment for bulletproof office windows and faculty body armor in Boise State blue and orange.

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