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The Crime Of The Century

Scene: a nail salon.

I wasn’t at the nail salon, but I was a few doors down. This woman and, who I assume was, her child-both well over the age where one throws a tantrum-stormed out shouting “THIS IS AN OUTRAGE, HOW DARE SHE, I CAN’T WAIT ‘TILL THE COPS GET HERE!”

Oh snap.

Two seconds later, we get two cops on the scene taking ‘statements’. Officer Sarcasm and Officer Hottie. I’m trying not to stare. I’m eavesdropping and live texting it to my friend.


THEN I hear “HEY, YOU!”

Oh snap.


“Oh, we’re sorry! We didn’t mean you, but did you see two women go by? We’re looking for them.”

“Yeah, they went that way. What’s going on officers?”

Officer Hottie: “Uh...a fight at the nail salon. Over nails. Or nail polish. It’s not clear at this moment...” He looked defeated.


Officer Sarcasm: “Yeah, crime of the century. One for the books.”

Me: “[Laughs] ‘k, sounds like a real complex situation.”

[Laugher from all]

Officer Hottie: “Well, have a nice day!”

Officer Sarcasm: “Yes, have a nice day miss!”

Me: “Same to you both!”

I like it when Reno 911 comes to life.


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