So I called the IRS cause my federal tax return said my address wasn't real, but my state tax return got here just fine, and I NEED CONTACTS AND GLASSES DAMMIT. The automated voice said my wait would be 15+ minutes. I need to pee. If I pee, the person will say hello mid-stream, I betcha.

You're OUR peach, Paranoid Shiksa Feminista! So stop yer cryin'!

Smilla helps us deal, yet again, with a crazy pants Mad Men episode.

Cumberbuttcheeks makes us hungry and then starts a vicious cycle of everyone making everyone hungry and/or food jealous.

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(OHMAHGAWDGUIZBAYBEEDUCKEEZROUTSIDEMAHWINDOH!)

Prep the bunkers and get those ducks on birth control, BRIMSG is talkin' hair.

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Who the fudge tits took Shiny Red Robot's vodka?!

(Pew! Pewpewpew! Pew pew!) Our resident ManCatFish gives Mr. Hayes some props.

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Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. Cassiebearrawr would like to know where you buy your sexy fun time toys.

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Rawrglicious shows us her boobs (how bras should fit) and a really cute dress (how awesome she looks in it.)

Raindogwaiting's mom is the Doctor Who bomb dot com, and the Doctor meets Disney courtesy of Wanderlustingingenue.

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Mitsubishe is about to be cranky(ier than normal, lawls. <3!) Say adios to the cigs, yo.

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Jennyapples has the gluchies. (Gluten + grouchies. Get it? GET IT?! I'll show myself out.)

Black Mamba brings us some tiger dude who says ladies are smart cause babies slash WTF?

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Jennyapples alerts us to the fact we're all failing in the dog dye game.

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Career or Marriage? CAREER or MARRIAGE!? This is not the middle ages, screams Fluterdale.

Korra hangs out with the creepy dude.

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—-

Okay, y'all. Do you have your kneepads on yet? You should cause it's TIME TO GROVEL TO THE ALMIGHTY TROUT OF UBERNESS! (He got quoted in hardcopy.)

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From Seize: tah dah! From BRIMSG: tah dah! From Ubertrout himself: The Ethics of Mainpaging.