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Well, not mine, actually. My brother's. And it wasn't family causing the drama. But it must have made for interesting viewing.

The Finchbros have been in their new house for about two weeks, cleaning, painting, and generally enjoying the nesting stage. Until yesterday, when the former owner of the house turned up with a friend and a truck, demanding to be allowed in to retrieve the "$5000 worth" of junk (seriously, junk: old frayed extension cords, bedsprings, rusted unidentifiable pieces of metal &c.) he had left in the house and garage. By the real estate agreement he'd had six months to retrieve the junk, the closing happened nearly a month ago, but he only got around to it yesterday. (Former owner is an ornery old coot who was loathed by both his neighbours and his realtor, who claims she had never been happier to see the back of a client than that one.) The Finchbro, like me, does not like confrontation, but with his wife and kids in the house he wasn't going to let the guy in. He told the ornery old coot (OOC) that if he wanted to find his stuff, he could go down to the dump because that was where they had taken it. He handed over the very few things they had decided to keep, on the off chance that they might turn out to be useful; and then my SIL, Glamour Puss, got wind of what was happening outside. Glamour Puss is very petite and very pretty, sort of like a miniaturized Emma Stone, but she has a fairly intense personality and you do NOT fuck with her. Anyway, Glamour Puss came roaring out of the house like a wolverine on meth and chased the OOC and his friend right back to their truck, shouting that they had no right to be there, the house was legally the possession of the Finchbros, they owed him nothing and if he ever showed his face again she would have the cops on him. The guys, unaccustomed to this kind of reception, took off.

Then the Finchbros went out and got new locks and deadbolts for all the external doors plus the garage, and a bar for the sliding patio doors. They called the realtor (who was mortified) and their lawyer and went around to all the neighbours, asking politely if they would let the Finchbros know if the OOC was seen in the vicinity. And trust me, if that guy so much as drives past the property Glamour Puss will be standing in the window with the cops on speed dial.


I'm sure it was frightening at the time, but I would have given a lot to have witnessed that. Do not mess with Glamour Puss, because she will cut you.

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