Anybody else feel like absolute shit if a date with a friend of a friend set up with the help of the friend doesn't work out?
I've pretty much shut down ever talking to anybody I know about my dating life, or lack thereof. There's a few reasons. As I've mentioned before, I'm a recovering Nice Guy, so I'm worried if I talk about my dating feels too much, I could fall back into that trap. Second, I'm horrible at reading other people, so I generally assume my friends don't want to hear about my First World Problems when they are likely dealing with even worse shit in their own lives.
But the big reason is that, on occasion, some of those friends I've talked to about my singleness have, out of the goodness of their hearts, tried to set me up with another friend of theirs who is single. Which creates all sorts of problems for me.
Reason being, any time a set-up attempt doesn't work out, I've wound up feeling absolutely terrible. I'm not talking about the "bummer this didn't work out" bad feelings that come from any date that doesn't result in anything more, that's generally something you can deal with. A failed date that comes from a set-up through a mutual friend leaves me feeling horrible. Almost like I let my friend down, or I'm sending the message that "Sorry friend, but you fucking suck as a matchmaker." Or that it could lead to dismissive judgement of me (read "You're too picky. Remember the time I set you up with (name)? She's awesome and you screwed up with her." I'm pretty sure this has already happened with one good friend of mine.
So I pretty much don't talk about this stuff to anyone I know anywhere, for fear of "Well, you know OB, I have this friend..." I don't even want to be in the position of turning down their suggestion and the potential offense that could result from it. But now I've lost the ability to vent and talk this issue out with friends, which also feels pretty bad.
Anybody else have these sorts of thoughts?