For newbies to groupthink, OT = open topic - so post what you like!
I need to get out my frustrating interaction with my roommate this weekend. Long bc I am frustrated and am giving context, just in case.
My roommate (who has been gone for 4 weeks) got back yesterday. I made plans to be out much of the day both days this weekend to give her time in the apartment to herself and to give me something to look forward to despite her return. When I returned home, she moved her broken tower fan (in its box) back out to the living room/dining area. As you may recall, two weeks before she left I told her that if it wasn’t gone by the time she left, I would dispose of it myself (bc it has been in our living room since before thanksgiving). She got pissed off said she had no time to deal with it (bc she wants to recycle it, whereas I was going to drag it to the trash) and put it in her room when she left.
So, I had kind of been trying to figure out what I would do if she just put it back. I dragged it to the hallway outside her room bc I am tired of her not really having to see it every day or be inconvenienced by it - and this put it in her range of vision and made it slightly a pain for her (it was on the opposite wall from her bedroom - so no actual obstruction or inhibition of movement). I messaged her and asked her to not put it in the living room anymore bc it was a pain when I wanted to use my dining room table (it is partially under the table) and I was tired of it being an issue between us. There were many other things I wanted to say that were not very polite - but I felt like this was an assertive message that was not inflammatory. I used many “pleases” in it.
A bit later, I heard her drag it back to the living room. She messaged me this: “Like I said before I left, I will get it rid of this weekend. The common area is a ‘common’ space which is mostly occupied by your stuff. Please don’t push the fan in front of my room like this. And I’m tired from a really long journey, we can talk later about this. I would like to talk about the other stuff being stored in the living room too.”
So, to break this down:
1. She said she would deal with it after sometime after she got back. She did not give specifics. I have literally been putting up with this for 4 or so months? And I have really only said something to her about it 4-5 times in that time. I think I have been reasonable and patient.
2. When we moved here, I moved my entire house and she moved with some suitcases from another country. It was a part of what was supposed to be a good thing for her that I was furnishing the house. I also made it clear that I had a lot of stuff - being that I was moving from my own apartment that was fairly large to a much smaller one. She has never brought up wanting to put anything in the living room - she has no furniture other than her bed (I provided the other furniture in her bedroom for her), and like wtf does she want to put in there? She has no art, decorations, nothing really.
3. When I talked to her about her fan before she left, she complained that my bike was in the living room and she said that I “never used it.” I do use it - not as much as I had wanted to or planned to, but I do. Plus it’s none of her business how much I do or don’t use anything. She also complained bc I had some bags of clothes to be donated in the living room. Fair enough - I got rid of those while she was gone.
4. She has complained in the past that I have stuff stored under my couch. She had told me to move my window fan out of the window in the kitchen and told me not to store things under my couch. So, being super frustrated even then at her constant complaints about me and her demands about where I put things, I put the fan under my couch. Also under my couch are two monitor boxes (my monitor shattered when I moved here so I am keeping the boxes!), and a small set of shelves (square shelves that I can’t figure out where to hang up). The space under my bed is packed and we have no storage space, so I don’t have other options. Plus, it’s my couch! Plus, my stuff is not trash - her fan is trash! Plus she has boxes stored in our kitchen!
So, I want to figure out a good way to respond. I haven’t responded yet. I mostly want to write back that she seems to dislike pretty much everything about me and that I am over it and really could not care less about her complaints about our living room (she never uses it anyway!) and just don’t want to hear them.
Whoa, that was long. Sorry - I am just beyond frustrated. We got the notification of lease renewal and I have been very tempted to sign it and just write on there that she will be moving out. :) God, I hope she plans to move out at the end of our lease!
Anyway - what’s up with all of you this fine Monday?