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The Frustration of Not Having My Own Room

Is finally starting to really kick in. Hard. Epic first-worlder rant ahead, apologies in advance.

I've told you guys the situation with me, mom and grandma. When grandpa passed away in October 2012, grandma came to live with us (due to both loneliness and Hurricane Sandy destroying the basement in her house). Mom and I live in a small, 2 bedroom apartment. Mom gave grandma her room, and mom was sleeping on the couch for about a week before I was like "ok stop it, take my bed." But with my fucked up shoulder, I couldn't sleep on the couch every night, so we ended up sharing my bed, which is thankfully a full-sized bed.

Since November of 2012.

I've never, up until this point, had to share a room, let alone a damn bed, with someone else. And I'm not angry at her! It's shitty circumstances, totally not mom's fault (and trust me, she isn't loving the situation either). But up until this point I was "meh" about it but it's finally start to really, really get frustrating.


I pretty much don't spend time in my own room anymore. I don't clean it, I don't do anything in it except sleep. So I hang out in the living room, with grandma, who even though has her own space needs to be on top of me and my mom 24/7.

And we're not going to closing tomorrow, because why the fuck would we. It should be this week, so we'll see. It'll be at least a couple more months until I get my own room back.

Also I just hate sleeping with someone else in the bed with me. I really don't enjoy it at all. I flail a lot, I get insanely hot when I sleep, I spread out like crazy, etc. My mom is the same way so all night we're knocking into each other or waking each other up (both light sleepers, she snores and I talk in my sleep. Bad combo). Neither of us has gotten a good night's sleep in over a year because of this.

Another thing that's just shitty is that my friends or Consort can't crash by me cuz there's no space. My mom has no problem letting my friends or boyfriends (assuming she likes them) stay over, and we just share a bed (her only rule is "please, for the love of god, do not have sex while I'm home. Please." Which I follow, mostly cuz it would freak me out too much). My friends would share the bed with me, too cuz why the hell not. She'd much rather my friends or SO stay here than me stay by them.


I'm also just getting tired of living with my grandma. I love my grandma to death, but we are total opposite personalities. And since my mom and I are alike, mom and grandma clash as well. I love my grandma, but I don't like her. She's nosy and wants to know every detail of my and mom's lives. She's obsessive about cleaning. Her values and morals are insanely different from mine and my mom's, such as if I have a beer or two one night and she sees the empty bottles, she gives me shit for the entire next day. She hates my tattoos with a passion. She has a fit if me - or mom - go out and don't tell her exactly when we'll be home. She gets pissy if I have people over and even more annoyed if people stay over, especially if said person possesses a penis, even if it's not someone I'm dating. She wants mom and I to focus 100% of our attention on her 100% of the time, and if we don't she gets insanely offended and hurt.

I love her, but I don't like her. Mom and I may not always see eye to eye, but I can live with her with barely any trouble. But living with grandma is driving mom and I insane. I told my mom, and I'm not all too proud of it, that grandma's going to kind of have to get over her hang-ups if she's going to live with us. Because I'm an adult, and it's her (my mom's) home, and if mom says that I can drink in the house and have friends and boyfriends stay over, then that's it and grandma is going to have to accept it.


She's been driving me nuts the past couple of days that I've been sick. All I want to do is sit on the couch wrapped in blankets and complain. But she would go on these weird tirades and guilt trips about how she wishes she could take care of me and I never appreciate her or talk to her and I've always hated her and why do I have to leave the tissues on the table and I must hate her more now because she's old and can't take care of me. I just...shh. Shhh. I know she means well most of the time, but mom and I have had extensive conversations with her about certain things and she just completely disregards them.

Bleh. Sorry for the spoiled brat rant. I'm just tired and sick and frustrated and want my own room.

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