I was making some coffee with a towel on my head and smeared make-up when a cop car pulled up in the driveway.

I thought I was going to shit my pants. I was wracking my brains to think of anything illegal I could've been caught doing recently. I couldn't remember getting into an accident or killing anyone. Then I started panicking because maybe somebody died.

Turns out, the cop was just looking for a previous resident because our address still came up as his. I guess he ran off with 60 dollars in gas from a gas station. As the cop was walking back to his car, he noticed my super tall wedges laying on the windshield of my car (I don't remember how they got there, probably put them there when I stumbled in the other night #classact). He yelled from his car, "Somebody had a late night last night, didn't they?"

So now the local police know that I'm a drunk mess.