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The Great Douche Canoe of 2013

I should not be so full of rage on my last day of work before vacation, but some asshole decided it was his mission today to stoke my rage fires. I've been dealing with this guy for a few months since he lost a contract with the company I work for (in a totally transparent RFP process, I might add). Since then, he's taken to publicly bashing and lying about the company in an extremely small town, causing my board members to lose business and just giving me a general headache.

He recently wrote a practically poetic letter to the editor in the local newspaper discussing what terrible people we are. I pulled out my tiniest violin while I read it. We didn't respond to it because he's a whiney loser. I had hoped that we were done.

Today, I sent out a general 'Happy Holidays' email on behalf of the company. In it, I spend the word 'inconvenience' wrong (I left out a goddamn 'n'). Well, he caught it and promptly emailed me back. This is what he said:

"I find it amazing how so few people can spell the word 'inconvenience' (or use spell check!). However, the thought is what counts, so Merry Christmas (not Happy Holidays) to you."


He then linked to some fucking Huffington Post article about the war on Christmas and why we shouldn't say Happy Holidays.

I forwarded the email to my board, noting that he has now begun personally attacking me rather than just the organization. I didn't respond to his email, even though I wanted to reply with a long diatribe about how 'holiday' is synonymous with 'holy day' and thus still applies to Christianity while embracing and respecting all celebrations taking place at this time. But I did not. Because I will not fight with the Canadian version of a Republican, right-wing gremlin.

I wish I could post a photo of him, because the guy literally looks like the fucking Grinch.

ETA: This gif because it feels appropriate:

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