Guys, I'm a peacemaker. It's just my nature - I can't stand conflict and usually go out of my way to find a middle ground so that everyone can be happy. But I have to put my foot down on this one.

This is a divide in humanity that seems impossible to reconcile.

A tear in the fabric of our species that cannot be mended.

A battle that will surely consume us all, in time.

So, we must decide once and for all:

Do you butter your bread when you make a sandwich?

I'm an Englishman (Born This Way!), so naturally I put butter on bread for most sandwiches. Ham and cheese? Butter. Roast beef? Butter. Coronation Chicken? Butter. Unlike some of my countrymen, I draw the line at jam sandwiches, but any savoury sandwich is game for some delicious artery-clogging golden goodness.

However, my SO is American (It's a lifestyle choice!), and naturally thinks my inclination to enhance my sandwiches by buttering my bread is somewhere between "drinking through my nostrils" and "bearing my own children" on the scale of weirdness. I've never met an American who puts butter on sandwich bread, and most have to be confined to a psychiatric facility after I tell them I do (which I think is a bit of an overreaction, personally).

Clearly, this is a gastronomic issue that we need to address. So, where do you stand on the butter/no-butter debate? Does anyone else think this question isn't asked enough of our elected officials? WE MUST SETTLE THIS!