Cracked had a really great article about poverty in the movies/television the other day. I feel like one of the things that the article missed out on is the absolute grind being poor is. And BoyHeathen and I aren't even devastatingly poor. We have food, and power and internet(though we share that with our duplex neighbor to share the financial burden). But we'll never go on vacation, we live in constant fear of catastrophic illness(even with insurance- but thanks America! God help us if one of us needs gallbladder surgery or gets a broken bone) and every time someone pulls some bullshit on the road I have a minor panic attack because my auto insurance covers liability- but Flo from Progressive is not going to help me buy a new car. And my divorce left my credit in shambles so I would be lucky to get a loan shark car loan for a pos vehicle as old as me. So careful, careful. Going out to eat with friends? Rare. Movies- ha! We'll watch it when it comes out at the redbox. Right now I'm doing laundry- because we managed to get into a duplex that has a washer dryer in the unit. But that means that I can't do dishes- because there isn't enough water pressure for both. Dishes which I have been doing in our bathtub for the last three weeks because there is something wrong with our drain. We've tried super draino, and removed the s bend and it's still terribly clogged and our landlord doesn't give three shits- we're "on the schedule" for a plumber and as it took her nearly a week to fix our broken water heater. Plus she still can't(won't)do anything about the bugs, or the leaks so we've gotten really good at this stuff ourselves. And we're petrified to make any sort of a fuss because Georgia is very red, tends to side with businesses/landlords/ we don't have nearly enough money to move.

And it all just grinds. Just every day seems a little harder, a little greyer, things seem a little less likely to get better. I completely understand the impetus to play the lotto- a dollar now and I can dream for a few days about being fabulously wealthy? I could move into a real house with a yard? My dogs could run around everyday in a yard and not have to wait to go across town to the dog park once or twice a week? On their walks, we can't go as fast as they's like because, well there are no sidewalks, people pitch bottles out of cars so I'm on the lookout for glass shards. Because in my area, people just don't care. And I understand why, because each day- I care a little less too.

Sorry- I just needed to rant, whinge and moan for a little.