TW: Anxiety. Self Harm. Suicide.

So the honeymoon is officially over for Littlefinger and I. Although we are both totally willing to do anything to make this relationship work, there are some major triggers in our relationship at the moment.

LF's financial situation isn't the best. He's very, very, stressed about that (rightfully so). In addition, he has been in contact with his ex to exchange knives of some sort. Which I don't like, as I have the suspicion that she may (again) have ulterior motives.

He also had a friend over the other day. That friend recognized me because she was in the psych ward the same time that I was. LF has known my past history in regards to that, but it was unbelievably triggering. She also said some things, while LF was out of the room, that really hurt me.

Yesterday night, LF sat me down and said that:
-My sex drive being higher than his profoundly annoys and upsets him. He said that I can't wake him up and ask to be intimate anymore. I ruin his sleep patterns, and make him really mad. I know that's inconsiderate of me. I just had no idea how much it upset him until last night. I feel so awful about it!
-He's saddened that I get triggered to self-harm and that he's helpless to stop it. Yesterday was the anniversary of my friend's death by suicide. So I had an anxiety attack and was really triggered. I tried to use my grounding techniques. I didn't self harm, but I did have to take my anti-anxiety medication.
-He said that use of some substances will always be apart of his life, and that there's nothing that I can do about it.
-He said that I'm emotional about things, and he's not.
-He wants to make this relationship work. But he also wants to pump the breaks.

I know that he's stressed. I could absolutely be doing a better job on my end. But this really struck a chord with me. He spends so much time and effort on me. I don't know what to do to make myself a better partner. I just feel helpless. My anxiety is through the roof. I really like him. We've exchanged "I love you's" in 3 different languages. I just want to make this work.

But if it doesn't? It's Littlefinger's loss. Because I the Queen in the North, and a Dragon Goddess. So he can get to steppin'. (But seriously, I hope that we can work this out).