Women, always looking for a ring am I right? Trying to lock men into some sort of "can't have sex with anyone else even if you're on a break" Ross/Rachel contract. These schemes can be hard for an unsuspecting male to detect. Good thing we have this commercial to reveal the inner workings of the female mind.

I can just picture a Macy's Ad Exec nodding smugly as he crafts her inner monologue, the inner monologue of all women/desperate cat lady serial murderers.

Target spotted. Oh, is he already marrying someone else? No big deal. He'll be back!

I know that he will because I'm going to start slowly poisoning his girlfriend over the next few weeks before the proposal. I hope the timing works out this time. Third time's the charm, right? Good thing I bought the XL carton of rat poison, buying in bulk is such a good deal. Really ought to start doing that with more household goods and.....Oh god! He's looking at me.

I'm making too much eye contact! Gotta do something natural! Ha-ha-ha-ha I'm laughing to cover my crime. Next I'll smile and then...oh, little joke about him coming back. Very subtle. But now I need a memorable closing....I've got it! I'll make a sassy cat purr noise! Men love sassy cat purr noises.

That went well. I'll be wearing that ring by New Years. I do wish he had gone with the 2.1 carat cushion cut...but hey, beggars can't be choosers! *absentmindedly holds out left hand* Oh yes, this really is The One.


*eye twitches uncontrollably* I HAVE 14 CATS IN A STUDIO APARTMENT!