So, my 11 year old is doing his homework on the computer with his buddy on video chat. I hear his friend say that a bug fell out of his hair onto his paper. Then he said, "Oh, I think it's a lice." Grammar issues aside, that perked my ears riiiight up. Said friend was at our house several times over the weekend, since his mom lives in the complex and is one of my best friends.

I grabbed littleSmacks, and started picking through his hair like a mama gorilla. Surprise, surprise, guess what I found? *sigh* yep. Not just one louse, but a whole friggin' family of the little fuckers. I slathered his head in mayo, wrapped him in saran wrap, and started doing laundry.

I also called my friend and asked her if she knew her son had head lice. She had no idea. She called his dad (who has him during the week), and his dad was all, "oh, I wasn't going to worry you''. DUDE. The kid was here for the last 2 days, and you didn't think she might like to know before she found out the hard way???

I checked her, she checked me, we both checked all the kids... then off to Walmart for fine tooth combs and lice spray for the furniture (FYI, the plastic lice combs are SHITE. Always get the metal ones.) Fortunately, it looks like the 11 y.o. was the only lottery winner today. PLEASE TO ALL THE GODS HE'S THE ONLY ONE. I will do blood sacrifice if I have to, I swear.

He's been combed and scrubbed and combed again. I can still see the eggs, but they just won't come out with the shitty comb. I doused him with diluted tea tree oil to loosen them :/ (I'm not just a crazy hippie... we discovered last time this happened that we can't use the commercial lice shampoo on him, he's apparently allergic to it. Of course.)

I have 5 garbage bags full of bedding and stuffed animals to wash, 2 kids very annoyed about not having their preferred pillows/blankets/animals to sleep with, and 1 school to call in the morning. Also, my mother is pissed at me for "avoiding her calls", y'know, while I was combing and washing kids.

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Oh, and my 9 y.o. came home from school with broken glasses and his hair full of sand, because today was a great day for his best friend to prank him by dumping a bottle full of sand on his head. A lice comb gets sand out of a kid's hair nicely, at least.

F.M.L.