So there was a stack of Amazon boxes delivered to my apartment building's lobby. Not a piddly little stack, but 4 boxes, each about 8 cubic feet. It was taller than me and created an interesting little corridor between the mailboxes and the rest of the lobby. There is no open wall space in the lobby, so the creation of the corridor was an attempt not to leave them in the middle of the lobby but still not terribly inconvenience everyone.

That's a minor inconvenience at best. I though "oh, college kids moving in right now! So cute that they're all ordering their paper towels from Amazon Prime instead of venturing six feet to the grocery store that we happen to live above!" But the tower was in the lobby for A WHOLE WEEK. GUYS, A WHOLE WEEK. OVER THE WEEKEND. Now, I started thinking "geez, these people must be moving in really late, and how are they not failing already because midterms are coming up next week?*"

Then, the mystery unfolds. Over the last several days, the boxes have started disappearing, one each day. There is only one box in the lobby at the moment. My first thought was "how strange! Why would someone who has access to TWO ELEVATORS only take one box up to their apartment each day?" Today, I realized that the boxes were probably addressed to different people, and the people on bottom didn't realize that they'd gotten a package until the person above them had finally claimed their shit.

BUT THAT IS A TOTALLY BORING STORY AND WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT, GROUPTHINK. SO TELL ME A STORY ABOUT WHY A PERSON MIGHT ONLY TAKE ONE OF FOUR BOXES UP TO THEIR APARTMENT EACH DAY. THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF WAS A MURDER PLOT BUT I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT ANY OF THE DETAILS.

BEST STORY WINS...SOMETHING. AND BRAGGING RIGHTS. (ANYONE ELSE WANT TO OFFER A PRIZE?)

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  • I am a TA, so I find myself attuned to undergraduate schedules.