That mysterious, baffling stank I couldn’t find the source of last night: Really old bong water. Of course, I had no way of guessing that, since we don’t own a bong, I only smoked weed a handful of times in high school, and my partner hasn’t touched the stuff since well before we met.

So, it’s kind of funny story as to how it got in our kitchen.

A few month ago this lovely couple moved into the apartment beside us. They also had two sweet little dogs, so we bonded right away. One small frustration: They smoke a hell of a lot of weed and it was really stinky. Each time they were smoking out on their balcony I’d turn to my boyfriend—who between us is the expert—and said “That is gross. Weed shouldn’t smell like that. Right?” and he confirmed that no, it shouldn’t smell like that.

Apparently last night while I was at work, they got to talking out on the balconies and the guys complained that thier weed was tasting off lately. Boyfriend insisted on showing them how to properly clean the bong. Apparently it was in desperate need and hadn’t been washed in weeks and maybe not cleaned properly ever. Of course, the demonstration happened in our kitchen.

Poor boyfriend had apparently done a real effort to tidy up afterwards, which is I why I struggled to find the source of the smell. He’d flushed the drains out, taken all the garbage down the to the bins immediately. He’d really thought the smell was under control when he went to bed.

So he woke up this morning all ready to tell me about his great evening of beer and bong cleaning with our neighbours, and I woke up ready to rip into him for not doing anything about that stink!

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Thank you to everyone who helped me brainstorm possible stink sources last night! None of us can be held responsible for not guessing the absurd trith, except maybe me, who could have woken the guy up and just asked why the apartment smelled like rhinoceros ass.