Every week, Homey has guys’ night. On those nights, I turn on our exterior lights so he can get to and unlock the door without slipping/fumbling.
He hates that because we have a long driveway and it’s a lot of lightbulbs (we’re both kind of uptight about environmental stuff). But I tell him, I’d rather use the energy (we’re 100% powered by wind energy, anyway) and pay for that than pay for a hospital bill because he slipped and hurt himself.
Anyway, it’s a (small, totally un-angry) argument every week.
Tonight, I was at the door telling him goodbye. Only, I said, “I can’t wait for you to leave so I can immediately turn on all the lights!” (Cuz I’m a shit stirrer :D).
He started in, “You don’t have to do that, I can get in just fine, you worry too much,” etc., etc.
So, I started giggling and yelled from the doorway, all faux-angry, “You can’t stop me! I DO WHAT I WANT!!!”
We both heard a gasp and looked over. Our neighbors had seen us at the door and heard me screaming. We both smiled and waved at them as they hurriedly got in their car. Howdy, neighbors!