..what I NEEDED to do, was what I learned from ALL of you here. So many of you.
There has been a quiet shift in my soul that I don’t talk about much that is directly related to what you all have taught me over the years.
When I say “don’t talk about much” that doesn’t mean that I don’t YELL stuff, or shout about it, or know what it means to me, deep down. It just means I can’t be quiet anymore. And yelling is a default setting for me no matter how hard I try to change that.
Talking to lost people is hard. Yet I do it with all of you in my knowledge pocket when I try to bring someone out of the dark. Or rationally respond to some darkness I’ve been roped in to.
When I can’t, I tend to YELL. Not a helpful response because I’ve always been an asshole, but it seems that I can only go all in, or nothing.
A raised voice is how I was raised. Yelling was “normal”...
So. The point of this post:
I was driving out of the supermarket parking lot and saw 4 Cop Cars (all SUVs.) 2 lanes East and West with a jersey barrier and the feed for me was East. Police in the West lane where there with 4 Cop Cars.
Black woman in the middle of the West highway with 6 Cop’s guns drawn on her. I was driving & I fucking froze. Started to cry a little.
Put my car in reverse on the highway & backed in to the lot I had just left. Parked in the middle of the exit, which I only noticed later.
6 GUNS DRAWN ON HER! HOLY FUCK!
Got out of my car and started filming with my phone from the East bound side. I was crying. Watched & waited for 20 minutes until I saw she was safe.
They saw me, seeing them. I have no idea what prompted the stop, but I’ve learned that my white woman self needs to white~witness wherever I can. And then talk about it.
the fuck out of them.