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The Oops That Wasn't

Couple of pregnancy questions today on Dear Prudence. The first is from one of those ladies that was like "whoops, a totally unexpected birth control failure led to my surprise pregnancy," when she had deliberately stopped taking her pills for like a YEAR before. The kid's 13 now, and the relationship didn't go the distance, so she wants to know if she should tell anyone now and how shitty of a person it makes her. Prudie says pretty shitty and to keep her trap shut. She rarely tells anyone to spill the beans about affairs and other dirty little secrets, and I am pretty much in agreement with that.

As a side note, the same writer said her recently knocked-up single friend just confessed that this whole time she's been out raw-dogging randos for the purpose of becoming pregnant. No word on what she told any of them, but if there was any conversation it was probably limited to "you don't have to wear that condom." "Really? Wonderful!" There's been a few articles about reproductive coercion here, but I'd probably call this pregnancy by deception. A more exact parallel might be a guy sabotaging his condoms in some undetectable way, but the phenomenon described in Jezebel is usually abusive in the context of an abusive relationship, like refusing to wear them at all, taking them off during, or maybe just throwing their partner's birth control in the garbage.


In the next one, the woman writing became pregnant and had an abortion without telling her boyfriend. She knew she was getting one regardless, and she knew the knowledge would mess him up, but now that darn guilt monster is coming after her. I think she was kind of looking for some absolution from Prudie, but no dice. Once again I agree with her that even if it's going to trash the relationship, I think you owe your partner the chance to have things completely go down in flames in an honest way.

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