I would like to start off with a giant thank you to all of the people who were just really nice and supportive on my last post. The last few days have been hard, but things are looking up. The Boy Heathen and I have decided, together that I should take the job I've been offered at my company. I'm now no longer a mortician, but a pre-need sales counselor. It's still helping people, but it will not be in the prep room any longer. Training doesn't start until the 8th, so I'm just taking this week off to get my house in order. After the big break down craziness of Friday, I called my mother where she offered me money to break up with him. She told me that boys that look like him(he is legitimately, objectively hot) are not interested in girls that look like me without something(money) to sweeten the pot. Yes, I have been financially supporting the family since the move down here, but I have never once felt used. He is in fact usually chagrined when I buy things for him. If nothing else, this steeled my resolve to NOT break up with him- because that is emotional manipulation of the highest order. It also was intensely hurtful of her to do that, and so I have decided to cut back contact with her for the next few months. I certainly do not need that sort of energy in my life.

The Boy Heathen and I had a really deep, good talk. Sometimes there was screaming; sometimes there was crying; but mostly there was digging. We've come to the conclusion that this place is really bad for him. He thinks he may be clinically depressed, and he knows that without anything to occupy his time he is going crazy in the house. He has already missed a year of school-we couldn't quite afford out of state tuition, so the year hiatus was supposed to get him in state status, and the job search seemed fruitless that added to his feelings of helplessness. Classes start August 19th, so until then he is going to stay with his Uncle in NC. The Uncle lives on a lake and has a boat, so in some wasy it will be a vacation for him. But- his Uncle is also a psychiatrist, so there is a feeling that maybe he will get some real help too. Like a mental retreat. We've reaffirmed our love and faith in each other, and spoken constructively about the future. I have high hopes for the rest of the year- it is just a matter of making it through the next six weeks. I went to the library yesterday and got a bunch of fantastic crochet afghan books which I have scanned and put onto my computer. I will work, and crochet and make ice cream and he will talk to his Uncle and relax and get his brain together and hopefully come back to Atlanta with a bottle of brain pills and a new outlook. I feel very hopeful though, hopeful and ready to head onwards and upwards.

Thank you again to everybody who took the time to comment to me on that last post. You will never know how much it helped to hear kind words.