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Welcome To The Bitchery

The Second City, the digital arm of a comedy club out of Chicago, posted a satirical commentary today that mocks the crap out of those defending the theft, posting, and subsequent viewing of nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other celebs. Highlights below:

Most of the women who are included in this hack have already been seen posing in bikinis for Sports Illustrated or topless in films. So what's the big deal? When I bring a bottle of wine to a party, my friends know they now have permission to break into my house and take any alcohol they want.

It's a gift. Not a gift they give, mind you. More like a gift you steal out of a charity toy bin because, for some reason, you believe you are entitled to it. Isn't that the true meaning of Christmas?

What about Ukraine, racial inequality, the Saved by the Bell biopic… or whatever I have to pretend to care about so I can look at these naked pictures in peace???

If you have something that somebody else wants, just consider it gone. It's our job to accommodate the criminals.

If you don't want naked photos of yourself stolen, don't take them. If you don't want your wallet stolen, don't have money. If you don't want to be strangled to death, stop breathing.

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