So I told him. About how I got the HPV, about how I thought it went away, about how I found out it maybe hadn't. And he was upset, but supportive. And I tried to give it to him straight- all the facts about how it's so damn common to get, nearly impossible to prevent (except with the shot and even that failed me, so...), and how even if something cancerous arises there will be enough time to treat it. I tried to emphasize how it wasn't a big deal and how I didn't think it was necessary to tell him because I thought it was gone and most people have it anyway. He said that I should get tested and that I should've told him before we did anything, and that it hurt his trust but, barring his partner saying no, we could work it out. And I was relieved and I admitted that I really liked him more than I thought I did and he said he really liked me. He was mad, but he was still joking with me about stuff and he bought me a snack.

And then we were talking about something else and cold sores came up. He mentioned how he didn't and I said I had them and then he got mad again. This one I didn't not tell him because of reluctance. I didn't tell him because I didn't think it was a deal. At all. No one ever told me I had any sort of duty to disclose-the folks @ PP even compared my HPV to my cold sores in that neither was a big deal or worth really worrying people about. It never crossed my mind to tell anyone unless I felt one coming on, and then I'd just say "Hey, can't swap fluids right now. Got a cold sore. Maybe next week?" Same as if I had a cold. But I think that combined with the stuff about the HPV combined with the hard weekend he had pushed it over the top. I could feel how pissed and hurt he was and I almost wished he would blow up at me. I asked him "what now" and he said he didn't know. I really should've told him all this earlier; it was a serious breach of trust; he'd have to talk to his partner and then see how he felt about it; and then he'd let me know. But all sexual activity between me and him is on pause until further notice.

So then I had to go to work. I hugged him goodbye and I cried and apologized and he kissed my forehead, told me that he liked me and that I was a good person who made a mistake, but that I dumped a lot of info on him at once.

We're still going as planned with lunch and TV watching tomorrow, and I sent him articles about all of the stuff we talked about, and he messaged me to say he's reading them. So I think maybe we'll be ok eventually?

I hope?